Genesis 32:23-33
Here is how we learn our true name. We screw up. We do what we do, right and wrong, we flee, we rationalize, we move on, we build, we reflect, we repent, we ready ourselves for retribution, for responsibility, for shame and redemption.
The struggle between good and evil is active; within us all. And just when we get to that spot where we know what the work is, down comes the angel -- that gracious angel, who will beat us up and not "let us win" but test our strength and we will be changed in both body and soul as we learn there is so much more.
We have come so far and we are so grateful, but it is not done yet. It's not done yet.
That can feel overwhelming -- God, why aren't we done yet?
We long for the promised land, for the sweetness of completeness, and yet I go on with the struggle, we all go on with the struggle.
The kicker: Honesty.
We are blessed and beautiful, soulful and luminous, petty and materialistic, overworked and underpaid.
We want fruit -- the fruits of our labor all the time. But we also want to stop laboring. We want rest and abundance. We wrestle with our human soulful desires to wrestle and go on, wrestle and go on.
The task is to find the glory of God in both places -- the self we must leave, the self we flip into that we struggle to rise above, and the transcendent self who knows that all of this struggle is the path to God, the blessing and gift of life, and all of us are able.
The Man Watching, Ranier Maria Rilke
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