Tuesday, January 22, 2013

When Almost Ready Becomes READY NOW

Exodus 12:29 - 33

There are so many things we think we cannot do -- until we do them.

This is that moment of DOING, when we discover there is something beyond where we have been standing for so long without even knowing how stuck we are; knowing the benefits of that stuck place.

It is, I want a divorce, I resign from this job, a positive pregnancy test, a diagnosis, a marriage proposal, the death of a beloved. It is the moment we move forward into the physical unknown without a safety net, or we die.

It's the acceptance of the full sum of our lives to this date, and the understanding that we MUST continue and somehow join with something that leads us. Call it YHVY, call it the Universe, it calls us into something larger, more connected, more intimate, than what we have had.

It is our souls' reaching for our natural place. And as we place the blood on our doorposts, take a stand against soul death, it's "Oh shit, what am I doing?" and it's, "I'm terrified!" and it's one step and then another and it's wet and the moon is full and the soldiers are coming and this YHVH killed the first born of the Egyptians, how do we really know we are spared?

We don't. But we go anyway, and tremendous acts of courage are propelled by fear -- fear of death, of disconnect, of the dangers of doing NOTHING. Nothing that leads us to the end, so in our sum total of fear and sometimes shame, of relative comfort and colossal unbeing, we move into that which has not yet been, that which has NEVER been before, and we co-create the future with every single step. And in so stepping, we become what is to become.

We are becoming, with every single step.