It has been a long time since I have been active as poet rabbi. It feels a bit like the end of an era! Unfortunately, for a while I was not at my best. Living alone with depression is not an easy task. I have been busy with my children's activities, seeking work and planning my daughter's bat mitzvah, and I haven't been to the barn in a long time.
And then there's the other thing.
I am seeking a connection with God and my peers, in community, that serves not only the disadvantaged, but one another. We all have gifts and talents, but being an easy person is not one of mine. I'm challenging. I always have been, ask my parents! I come with baggage, as well as the experience of divorce, depression, and not many resources. I have been blessed by this community with the opportunity to share some of my gifts, insights, and my words. I will be forever grateful. Now I am seeking different opportunities - to develop friendships and company so I don't have to spend so much time alone when my kids are with their dad. I seek a new romantic life companion, and I seek fulfilling work.
I truly hope there will be other opportunities and pathways to share my gifts. I also hope to find a way to teach writing in a workshop format, as well as engage in paid work that I find fulfilling and financially rewarding.
With all of that said, I find myself feeling out of place at the barn. Not because I haven't been valued or appreciated, but because I personally feel needy. I don't want to be a burden to anyone, and I feel I am at a different stage in life in that I am raising my family in a divided way, on my own, without family support and an extended community. Simply put, I need more friends, and I need to find a few more oddballs like myself.
I wish you all shalom and shalem, and encourage you to say hello whenever you would like to. May we all be blessed on this shared journey.