Written on 6/22/13
22 And God's anger was kindled because he
went; and the angel of the LORD placed himself in the way for an
adversary against him.— Now he was riding upon his ass, and his two
servants were with him.— 23 And the ass saw
the angel of the LORD standing in the way, with his sword drawn in his
hand; and the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field;
and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way. 24 Then the angel of the LORD stood in a hollow way between the vineyards, a fence being on this side, and a fence on that side. 25 And
the ass saw the angel of the LORD, and she thrust herself unto the
wall, and crushed Balaam's foot against the wall; and he smote her
again. 26 And the angel of the LORD went
further, and stood in a narrow place, where was no way to turn either to
the right hand or to the left. 27 And the
ass saw the angel of the LORD, and she lay down under Balaam; and
Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with his staff. (JPS online)
***
We get so mad when we think we're in control of our path, our fate, our ability to get what we want, and then find out we are not.
We think we can see, then proceed blindly into the narrowing passage, hemmed in on all sides, which is a very cramped and bleak place to be. We like options; we like open spaces; we like what we want to happen to happen.
The idea that a holy man (for aren't each of us holy, in our own time?) cannot see an angel of YHVH, but the ass can -- outrage!
I want what I want, which MUST be what God wants, or if not, I can continue to push on and want it anyway.
Not so.
We can box ourselves in really well when left to our own devices. But the connection, the ass, the narrow place, the anger, the blessing -- they must all find their way through us. We must learn to recognize, and see.
Stuck? Bless me.
Hemmed in? Bless openness.
Lost the connection with the divine, the is-was-and-will-be of our souls?
Stop. Listen. Relax. Let go.
Not in control.
On a talking donkey in a narrow crevice.
We can't get out unless we awaken to our own knowing.
Then we can bless everything, and we can find our way once more.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
4/27/13 Emor
Leviticus 23: 1-8
Sacred
1 And the LORD spoke unto Moses, saying: 2 Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them: The appointed seasons of the LORD, which ye shall proclaim to be holy convocations, even these are My appointed seasons. 3 Six days shall work be done; but on the seventh day is a sabbath of solemn rest, a holy convocation; ye shall do no manner of work; it is a sabbath unto the LORD in all your dwellings. 4 These are the appointed seasons of the LORD, even holy convocations, which ye shall proclaim in their appointed season. 5 In the first month, on the fourteenth day of the month at dusk, is the LORD'S passover. 6 And on the fifteenth day of the same month is the feast of unleavened bread unto the LORD; seven days ye shall eat unleavened bread. 7 In the first day ye shall have a holy convocation; ye shall do no manner of servile work. 8 And ye shall bring an offering made by fire unto the LORD seven days; in the seventh day is a holy convocation; ye shall do no manner of servile work.
***
We forget, but these are the markers, the days, the ways to remember that YHVH is eternal. These are the rituals to step into the eternality of our existence, each one a stepping stone across the huge river of time in which we get swirled and dunked and tossed about.
But come Friday night, come Pesach, come Shavuot, come Sukkot, you can know there will be a stone beneath your feet, a solidness where the eternal divine and the eternal of this world stand together and open to the truth. When we call for blessing, for truth, for openness, for change, there is a response waiting.
So when you falter, find yourself tugged away by rough current, cut up on the rapids, call out for the opening to the truth of the next stone in time, you will find a moment of rest and comfort on solid ground, and we will remember together that we serve all that is connected in love and time. So We breathe collectively in our hope and turmoil before stepping back into the river to see where the water will take us.
Sacred
1 And the LORD spoke unto Moses, saying: 2 Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them: The appointed seasons of the LORD, which ye shall proclaim to be holy convocations, even these are My appointed seasons. 3 Six days shall work be done; but on the seventh day is a sabbath of solemn rest, a holy convocation; ye shall do no manner of work; it is a sabbath unto the LORD in all your dwellings. 4 These are the appointed seasons of the LORD, even holy convocations, which ye shall proclaim in their appointed season. 5 In the first month, on the fourteenth day of the month at dusk, is the LORD'S passover. 6 And on the fifteenth day of the same month is the feast of unleavened bread unto the LORD; seven days ye shall eat unleavened bread. 7 In the first day ye shall have a holy convocation; ye shall do no manner of servile work. 8 And ye shall bring an offering made by fire unto the LORD seven days; in the seventh day is a holy convocation; ye shall do no manner of servile work.
***
We forget, but these are the markers, the days, the ways to remember that YHVH is eternal. These are the rituals to step into the eternality of our existence, each one a stepping stone across the huge river of time in which we get swirled and dunked and tossed about.
But come Friday night, come Pesach, come Shavuot, come Sukkot, you can know there will be a stone beneath your feet, a solidness where the eternal divine and the eternal of this world stand together and open to the truth. When we call for blessing, for truth, for openness, for change, there is a response waiting.
So when you falter, find yourself tugged away by rough current, cut up on the rapids, call out for the opening to the truth of the next stone in time, you will find a moment of rest and comfort on solid ground, and we will remember together that we serve all that is connected in love and time. So We breathe collectively in our hope and turmoil before stepping back into the river to see where the water will take us.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Do Not Fear
April 20, 2013
Lev. 19: 9-18
Kedoshim
At times like these, it can become very easy to lock ourselves down into protection mode. To say "mine" and "not yours," to pull in all the way to the edges and leave no generosity behind.
It's human nature, it's fear talking, and yet the words, "I am the Lord" remind us -- to breathe deeply, to unclench our fists, to let as much of the anger as we possibly can, go.
I am the Lord. We are One. A reminder to be fair, even when another is not, to be kind even when the other cannot. To give, even when we fear we have nothing left. We try.
Today, we need the reminder. It can be so easy to flip into us/them mentality, but "I am the Lord your God" -- we are all US, we are all THEM. We all crave peace, we all crave fairness, bounty, kindness, and yes, forgiveness. A reminder that we cannot place ourselves above one another, we are all the fabric of the universe, woven together with stardust and imperfection, cruelty and joy.
May we all stand as one, as fairly, as kindly, as gently, and as generously as we possibly can, before the Oneness of all being.
Lev. 19: 9-18
Kedoshim
At times like these, it can become very easy to lock ourselves down into protection mode. To say "mine" and "not yours," to pull in all the way to the edges and leave no generosity behind.
It's human nature, it's fear talking, and yet the words, "I am the Lord" remind us -- to breathe deeply, to unclench our fists, to let as much of the anger as we possibly can, go.
I am the Lord. We are One. A reminder to be fair, even when another is not, to be kind even when the other cannot. To give, even when we fear we have nothing left. We try.
Today, we need the reminder. It can be so easy to flip into us/them mentality, but "I am the Lord your God" -- we are all US, we are all THEM. We all crave peace, we all crave fairness, bounty, kindness, and yes, forgiveness. A reminder that we cannot place ourselves above one another, we are all the fabric of the universe, woven together with stardust and imperfection, cruelty and joy.
May we all stand as one, as fairly, as kindly, as gently, and as generously as we possibly can, before the Oneness of all being.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Sacrifice
March 16, 2013
Vayikra
Lev 4:27-29
There is the understanding that no one is without flaw or guilt, but here's the thing -- when you know what you have done, really know, you must make the sacrifice.
You place your hand firmly upon the head of whatever your sacrifice is, and you acknowledge the truth.
The slaughter, the true doing away with what has come before, how you/we have sinned, the ways we have gone astray, the ways we have moved far away, as far as we've ever been from the divine, we must lay that bare, blood pouring forth, fat and innards separated until the real meat of it is offered, smoked to an odor that is pleasing to that which is everything -- a vaporous, ethereal, reptilian brain-bridge of scent that crosses the divide of where we have gone, draws us back in, close to the place where we are pure and whole.
All transformation involves sacrifice. All addictions one day demand that we leave them behind or be lost to them; we all have them. Sometimes the hardest part of sacrifice and change is simply knowing where to begin.
The heart will tell you if you stop and listen, mist and vapor lift us up on wings of new freedom, ancient breezes and green leaves and old trees and new seasons.
The reason is always, "because we are holy" so we must give ourselves wholly to the task of unfolding back the giant, quilted past to reveal the intricate patchwork of our world -- our choices, our decisions, our chances, our mistakes, our fate.
We do what we can to draw closer, to move into scented air of divine bridging, of knowing truth, of knowing ourselves, of reaching for God, and we begin again, renewed.
Vayikra
Lev 4:27-29
There is the understanding that no one is without flaw or guilt, but here's the thing -- when you know what you have done, really know, you must make the sacrifice.
You place your hand firmly upon the head of whatever your sacrifice is, and you acknowledge the truth.
The slaughter, the true doing away with what has come before, how you/we have sinned, the ways we have gone astray, the ways we have moved far away, as far as we've ever been from the divine, we must lay that bare, blood pouring forth, fat and innards separated until the real meat of it is offered, smoked to an odor that is pleasing to that which is everything -- a vaporous, ethereal, reptilian brain-bridge of scent that crosses the divide of where we have gone, draws us back in, close to the place where we are pure and whole.
All transformation involves sacrifice. All addictions one day demand that we leave them behind or be lost to them; we all have them. Sometimes the hardest part of sacrifice and change is simply knowing where to begin.
The heart will tell you if you stop and listen, mist and vapor lift us up on wings of new freedom, ancient breezes and green leaves and old trees and new seasons.
The reason is always, "because we are holy" so we must give ourselves wholly to the task of unfolding back the giant, quilted past to reveal the intricate patchwork of our world -- our choices, our decisions, our chances, our mistakes, our fate.
We do what we can to draw closer, to move into scented air of divine bridging, of knowing truth, of knowing ourselves, of reaching for God, and we begin again, renewed.
Brilliance, Longing, Lust
March 9, 2013
Va'yakhel
Exodus 35: 4-10
Bringing our gifts to make the center
All of us have gifts. Rare and common, internal and external; we don't always value them in context, or even out of context, but we can move ourselves and others in ways that are unique and strange, grandiose and small.
Gold. Our brilliance. Our souls. We all shine. Maybe not every moment of every day, but maybe, underneath all the rest, it is every moment of every day. Imagine that. We are gilded in gold, coated in brilliance, shining to matter what the night sky foretells. Maybe we don't always see it, but it's there.
Silver. Longing. The heart. We are one people, one being, one entity, and we long to feel that connection. We long for it in our hearts, in our work, in our friendships, and in our families. We long to be_long. To belong to and be longed for. It is our silver nature, we all have it, we shall not be ashamed nor hidden before God, the Universe, YHVH, the source of what is.
Copper. Lust. The body. Honestly, truly, once we move past the layers of with whom and under what conditions and which social norms we will uphold or defy, lust and the body, the urge to physically connect, is part of us. We all have it. It moves us forward. The urge for pleasure, the urge to please another, the yearning and longing for the gilded future that we know we must create and live in. We use our bodies to build this. This is what we bring to the center, what we carry with us in kind company: brilliance, longing and lust for wholeness.
May we turn toward one another with this awareness and celebrate, not judge; honor, not destroy; for this is what builds the sacred and the future we step into every day.
We all have gifts. Come to love and respect them, value them. Bring them, our brilliance, longing and lust; our souls, hearts and bodies toward the center as we stand together in joy. Unafraid.
Va'yakhel
Exodus 35: 4-10
Bringing our gifts to make the center
All of us have gifts. Rare and common, internal and external; we don't always value them in context, or even out of context, but we can move ourselves and others in ways that are unique and strange, grandiose and small.
Gold. Our brilliance. Our souls. We all shine. Maybe not every moment of every day, but maybe, underneath all the rest, it is every moment of every day. Imagine that. We are gilded in gold, coated in brilliance, shining to matter what the night sky foretells. Maybe we don't always see it, but it's there.
Silver. Longing. The heart. We are one people, one being, one entity, and we long to feel that connection. We long for it in our hearts, in our work, in our friendships, and in our families. We long to be_long. To belong to and be longed for. It is our silver nature, we all have it, we shall not be ashamed nor hidden before God, the Universe, YHVH, the source of what is.
Copper. Lust. The body. Honestly, truly, once we move past the layers of with whom and under what conditions and which social norms we will uphold or defy, lust and the body, the urge to physically connect, is part of us. We all have it. It moves us forward. The urge for pleasure, the urge to please another, the yearning and longing for the gilded future that we know we must create and live in. We use our bodies to build this. This is what we bring to the center, what we carry with us in kind company: brilliance, longing and lust for wholeness.
May we turn toward one another with this awareness and celebrate, not judge; honor, not destroy; for this is what builds the sacred and the future we step into every day.
We all have gifts. Come to love and respect them, value them. Bring them, our brilliance, longing and lust; our souls, hearts and bodies toward the center as we stand together in joy. Unafraid.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Exodus 20:1-15
We, all of us, have dreams. And we, all of us, stand before oneness and are blessed in abundance and love.
All that was promised, all our hopes and dreams, even if unspoken but held in our hearts and soul, are here right now. Stand up, take them.
Look around. Your dreams and my dreams, they may be different, they may be similar, but the biggest tragedy before us is to turn away and decide NOT to want, not to yearn, NOT to long for our own and others' wholeness, our communal completeness, the oneness that can be, and is.
Yes, it's conditional. Believe that YHVH is present for us.
Imagine a superhighway of love. If your great-great grandparents took the off-ramp, your family may wander a long time in Kansas before you, four generations later, find the on-ramp in Weston, Massachusetts.
Here are some of the teachings, the rules to stay on the highway:
Don't kill, don't steal, don't lie, don't commit adultery. Do not take what belongs to someone else. Keep honesty at the forefront, then forgive and be forgiven when we do wrong.
Work for goodness. Keep the Sabbath. Teach your children. Build your own relationship with holiness and YHVH. Build your relationship with your family and community. Let others do the same, in their own way, then stand side by side, hand in hand, in joy, as we are blessed by love.
Sometimes these tablets of stone are heavy, sometimes they are lighter than air -- that's why we all hold them together as one people, in truth and kindness.
Not just one at a time, but throughout time.
Our ancestors, Moses, Aaron, Miriam, our great-great-great grandparents, all those who came before us, they are still holding them, as we are, for the unseen but glimmering future our children and their children's children will carry forward before our very eyes.
We say "YES," we are blessed, right now... before... later.
Our authentic souls, our together souls, our "one people" soul, stands with our truthful hearts, imperfect and beaming, brimming with real knowledge of success and failure, bound and flowing with golden blessings of love.
We say "thank you" and take our place, hands extended, touching stone and earth and light, now and then, and forever.
All that was promised, all our hopes and dreams, even if unspoken but held in our hearts and soul, are here right now. Stand up, take them.
Look around. Your dreams and my dreams, they may be different, they may be similar, but the biggest tragedy before us is to turn away and decide NOT to want, not to yearn, NOT to long for our own and others' wholeness, our communal completeness, the oneness that can be, and is.
Yes, it's conditional. Believe that YHVH is present for us.
Imagine a superhighway of love. If your great-great grandparents took the off-ramp, your family may wander a long time in Kansas before you, four generations later, find the on-ramp in Weston, Massachusetts.
Here are some of the teachings, the rules to stay on the highway:
Don't kill, don't steal, don't lie, don't commit adultery. Do not take what belongs to someone else. Keep honesty at the forefront, then forgive and be forgiven when we do wrong.
Work for goodness. Keep the Sabbath. Teach your children. Build your own relationship with holiness and YHVH. Build your relationship with your family and community. Let others do the same, in their own way, then stand side by side, hand in hand, in joy, as we are blessed by love.
Sometimes these tablets of stone are heavy, sometimes they are lighter than air -- that's why we all hold them together as one people, in truth and kindness.
Not just one at a time, but throughout time.
Our ancestors, Moses, Aaron, Miriam, our great-great-great grandparents, all those who came before us, they are still holding them, as we are, for the unseen but glimmering future our children and their children's children will carry forward before our very eyes.
We say "YES," we are blessed, right now... before... later.
Our authentic souls, our together souls, our "one people" soul, stands with our truthful hearts, imperfect and beaming, brimming with real knowledge of success and failure, bound and flowing with golden blessings of love.
We say "thank you" and take our place, hands extended, touching stone and earth and light, now and then, and forever.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
When Almost Ready Becomes READY NOW
1/19/13
Exodus 12:29 - 33
There are so many things we think we cannot do -- until we do them.
This is that moment of DOING, when we discover there is something beyond where we have been standing for so long without even knowing how stuck we are; knowing the benefits of that stuck place.
It is, I want a divorce, I resign from this job, a positive pregnancy test, a diagnosis, a marriage proposal, the death of a beloved. It is the moment we move forward into the physical unknown without a safety net, or we die.
It's the acceptance of the full sum of our lives to this date, and the understanding that we MUST continue and somehow join with something that leads us. Call it YHVY, call it the Universe, it calls us into something larger, more connected, more intimate, than what we have had.
It is our souls' reaching for our natural place. And as we place the blood on our doorposts, take a stand against soul death, it's "Oh shit, what am I doing?" and it's, "I'm terrified!" and it's one step and then another and it's wet and the moon is full and the soldiers are coming and this YHVH killed the first born of the Egyptians, how do we really know we are spared?
We don't. But we go anyway, and tremendous acts of courage are propelled by fear -- fear of death, of disconnect, of the dangers of doing NOTHING. Nothing that leads us to the end, so in our sum total of fear and sometimes shame, of relative comfort and colossal unbeing, we move into that which has not yet been, that which has NEVER been before, and we co-create the future with every single step. And in so stepping, we become what is to become.
We are becoming, with every single step.
Exodus 12:29 - 33
There are so many things we think we cannot do -- until we do them.
This is that moment of DOING, when we discover there is something beyond where we have been standing for so long without even knowing how stuck we are; knowing the benefits of that stuck place.
It is, I want a divorce, I resign from this job, a positive pregnancy test, a diagnosis, a marriage proposal, the death of a beloved. It is the moment we move forward into the physical unknown without a safety net, or we die.
It's the acceptance of the full sum of our lives to this date, and the understanding that we MUST continue and somehow join with something that leads us. Call it YHVY, call it the Universe, it calls us into something larger, more connected, more intimate, than what we have had.
It is our souls' reaching for our natural place. And as we place the blood on our doorposts, take a stand against soul death, it's "Oh shit, what am I doing?" and it's, "I'm terrified!" and it's one step and then another and it's wet and the moon is full and the soldiers are coming and this YHVH killed the first born of the Egyptians, how do we really know we are spared?
We don't. But we go anyway, and tremendous acts of courage are propelled by fear -- fear of death, of disconnect, of the dangers of doing NOTHING. Nothing that leads us to the end, so in our sum total of fear and sometimes shame, of relative comfort and colossal unbeing, we move into that which has not yet been, that which has NEVER been before, and we co-create the future with every single step. And in so stepping, we become what is to become.
We are becoming, with every single step.
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