Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Rosh Hashana 5773

O Father, what is this?

He ties me to a sacrificial pyre and he wields the knife -- but I have never loved him more. It is his weakness and his strength, this faith he has in the Oneness of being and becoming, all that is, was and will be, past, present, future all alive in this moment, and I have two choices. I can hate him, or I can forgive him.

This One who calls us to this moment, I have seen him in the gleam and glitter of the knife, the fires my father and I have laid together, and the love that shines in my father's eyes. I know I am beloved. I know this is Yud Hey Vav Hey's (YHVH) will, and my will, and Father's will. So I choose.

I choose life and faith and trust.

In this moment of testing, I will hear. I will love my father and the One with all my heart, soul and might, and I know I will choose life. I know this moment, this call, this knife, will not kill my love for him. I know I will not hate him.

I see his eyes glitter with tears, they are locked on mine and and I feel my own eyes flood with respect and pain and truth. This man is my father, blood of my blood. I have seen him in all of his moments from the day I was born.

We do not lose each other in this moment, but pray mightily for a sign.

The ram is glorious.

My father, my beloved father, stays the knife, unties me, clutches my hand.

"You are my beloved. Forgive me."

I know the truth of this: all that is, was, and will be is contained in this moment. And my father, who was willing to sacrifice his son to God, loves me with all of his heart.

"I do."

Together we are transformed. A people born of light in a moment of obedience and strength, love and truth, given to a God who tests us and loves us, redeems us and grants us hope, even in the darkest moments.

If he had slain me, I would have died with my soul aflame in the truth of love.

Father, bearer of the past, I hold your dreams and darkest fears of rejection in my heart and I love you with the kindness of the world, the glowing future that forgives and redeems.

We will go forth anew. I forgive you.

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